February was a mostly a quiet month for me. I exist in a world where there’s always pressure to be doing things, but the winter months are for hibernation and I’ve tried to honor that.
The highlight of my month: having my essay, Did Being the Most Romantic Sign Doom Me for Love, published by Vogue.com (note: they wrote that title not me)! Since I left my job at Harper’s Bazaar in February of 2020, I have been asked to write celebrity cover stories and other features for various outlets. I’ve turned them all down because I don’t enjoy writing about fashion—and I also don’t care for writing about celebrities. In this case, they approached me to write about the subjects I love the most: love and astrology.
I’m really happy with how the essay turned out, and I’ve thought a lot about what it would have meant to me to read something like that while I was in my twenties. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so much like a freak or let this narrative run away with me that there was something wrong with me. I was really touched by the response I received from women who had felt similarly to me.
We’ve all been conditioned to believe our lives are supposed to follow a certain path, and when they don’t, it’s easy to feel like something is wrong with us—like we’re the only ones straying from the “norm.” I’m grateful that my story can serve as a reminder that life unfolds in different ways for different people. It’s not the end of the world if you’re in your thirties and have never been in a long-term relationship or you're still finding your way in your career. There’s no single timeline we all have to follow.
I have spent so much time in therapy dissecting myself—my outlook on relationships, my family, and the role they’ve played in shaping all of this. And even with all that work, there are still so many layers to my story that couldn't fit into this particular essay: generational trauma, the part of me that has enjoyed the freedom I've had in my romantic life. I'm also not so sure I would've accomplished everything I have in my career had I been in a relationship. It's not that women can't do both—many can and do—but I know myself and how easily it's been for me to get derailed. And if there's anything that astrology has taught me, it's that life is all about our own specific timing.
A few things that brought my joy in February:
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